The phone rang as I stepped out of the tub. It was my Buddy Bill. “Hi Bill can I call you back? I just got out of the shower.”
“Please,” he pleaded, “ I need you to do me a favor.”
Fifteen minutes later I called him back.”
“ Okay, “ I asked, “ what’s the favor? But if it's about smuggling those drugs across from Mexico, I can’t do it right now I’m being watched day and night.” He laughed, “You shouldn’t fool around like that on the phone, you never know who’s listening in.”
“Are you kidding? I replied, “ Who the heck would be tapping my phone, I’m the most boring person on the planet.”
“Still, you never know, big brother might be listening in.”
“Ok, ok. What’s the favor? “
“ Meet me today at Luigi’s for lunch I really don’t want to say on the phone. " he said mysteriously.
“Alright,” I said intrigued, “ but you’re buying.”
At the restaurant, He hesitated for a moment, and then asked, is your girlfriend still visiting her family in Houston?
“ Yes, she’s not due back for another week. “
“ Great then, do you mind letting Carla stay at your place for a couple days?
“ Sure but why? " I asked
“I have to go away on business and my sister Jeannie is coming over to stay until I get back. I don't want her to run into Carla. "
” Oh no! “ I cried, “ not Jeannie the squealer. The one who told on us for smoking in Jamie’s backyard?
“ Yes, the very same girl” Bill said.
“ The one who squealed on us for drinking beer in the alley around the corner from the movie theater?
“ Yes, that’s her”
“ The one who told your Dad on us for lighting firecrackers and throwing them in Mr. Patty’s grocery store? "
“ Yes, my favorite sister "
“ Thank God you only have one”, I said. “Oh man, she would have a field day if she found out about your little affair with Carla. You know how relentless she was, when we were kids. She’s had twenty years to perfect her talents. You’d have to leave town. Wait a minute, why is she staying at your house? "
“ She wants to have her apartment painted and thought since I’d be away, it would be a good opportunity to have it done. I couldn’t say no to my own sister, besides she might smell a cover up and if that happens we’ll both be doomed. So will you help me? "
“ Yes but you owe me big-time pal. Hey maybe this won’t be so bad ” I said smiling, “ Carla is a gorgeous girl, as a matter of fact she’s perfect from her head to her toes.”
“ Hey! ” Bill looked at me menacingly; wipe that grin off your face. I know what you’re thinking. She’s strictly off limits. "
“ Don’t worry Billy; she’s not my type.”
" Bullshit, She’s everybody’s type. "
“ Ok pal, if you really don’t want anybody to see her, I’ll hide her in the trunk. "
“ No you won’t, you can back up into the garage and she can sit in the back seat, just make sure you come after twelve, this whole neighborhood is sound asleep by then.”
“ Ok,” I said. “ See you tonight.”
I was delayed that night and wound up at Bill’s
at 3:00 a.m. I woke him out of a sound sleep and he looked groggy, as he made sure Carla was situated in the back seat. The street was as quiet as a church at happy hour. When I got home, my street was deserted and as quiet as bill’s. I put Carla in the guest bedroom and retired for the night.
Bill’s sister Jeannie was two years younger then him and she had a great talent for collecting information on people. Bill and I believed she kept a secret file because she seemed to know so much about everybody in the neighborhood. Now in adulthood, Jeannie had mellowed out somewhat, but her intelligence gathering capabilities were still sharp.
Although Bill and I dismissed our idea of a secret file as childhood fantasy, we knew, that if she smelled a conspiracy, nobody would be spared. Jeannie would have made a great spy. She was like a pit Bull, when she bit down on a subject, you can be sure that every aspect; every detail would be uncovered before she let go.
We were lucky that Jeannie owned her own business. It kept her busy and she lived in a town thirty miles away and that kept her out of Bill’s hair and mine for that matter.
The next several days went smooth, with Jeannie enjoying her time at her brother’s apartment interacting with her local friends, and me enjoying my time with Carla.
Carla wasn’t the best conversationalist, but there was a certain peace in her lack of words, as opposed to my girlfriend’s incessant chatter.
Several days later Bill returned home and called me from the airport. “Hey buddy, how did things go?” he asked.
“Great,” I replied,” And Carla behaved herself like a lady, but I think she has a thing for me.” He ignored the remark and told me he would let me know when Jeannie was gone.
That evening Bill called “ Jeannie left about an hour ago, why don’t you bring Carla back and we’ll have a few beers to celebrate her departure?
“ Be there in a few, " I said.
When I got to Bill’s, I backed into the garage to avoid prying eyes, and we all settled in the living room to have a few cocktails.
I looked at Carla and told Bill. " I’m lusting for your woman Bill, and I think she wants me too.”
“ Let’s see if you’re right” Bill said, “ go fondle her breasts.”
“ No I couldn’t, " I said, we’re best friends, it just wouldn’t be right.”
“ I give you permission, just this once.”
“ OK” I said and walked over to Carla.” She just sat there with a smile on her face. I reached out and took both breasts in my hands and she moaned. “ That feels so good " she said.
Bill laughed, “ OK, that’s enough, get away from my girl.
“ I hate to tell you my friend, but I think your lady there is a nymphomaniac. "
“ Yes Carla and I agree that she has a problem, so I made an appointment with a therapist on Monday.”
“ But, in the mean time, can’t we take advantage of the situation before she’s cured? ” I asked.
“ You perverted bastard, have you no shame? "
I laughed. “ By the way Bill, how much did it cost you to bring Carla home? "
“ Seven Thousand Dollars. " he said.
“ For a doll? " I asked, shocked at the price.
“ She’s not a doll. " he replied indignantly, " she’s a Fembot, A sex robot. "
“ Wow, " I said, “ it’s pretty cool the way they program her to talk, can I fondle her again? I like to hear her moan.”
“ Be my guest ”
I walked over to Carla and fondled her breasts again. She began moaning and telling me how good it felt, when the front door opened suddenly.
It was Jeannie. “Bill I forgot to leave your extra key.” The word key trailed off as she saw me fondling Carla’s breasts and hearing her moan.
“What the hell is going on here and who is she? "
“ She’s my love doll,” bill said defiantly.
“ What the hell is a love doll? ” she asked.
“ It’s a synthetic companion. " I offered.
“ You mean a sex toy. " She said laughing, “ Oh, this is precious. "
She walked over to Carla and squeezed one of her breasts. Carla moaned and said, “ That feels so good ” Bill and I looked at each other in dismay as an evil smile appeared on Jeannie’s lips. We knew it was the end of the line.
She came over and sat down on the couch. “ I take it you haven’t introduced her to the family yet, Billy. But we’ll talk about that later; now tell me, how did you two crazy kids meet? "
Frank Conrad Musumici © 2014